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My mother waved to Nanny and told me, "I'll be back at
5 o'clock sharp. Keep an eye on the time and stay with your
grandmother."
I mumbled, "OK, Mom," and began to salivate like one
of Pavlov's dogs, knowing that Nanny would have baked the long
sweet poppyseed rolls she calls "mun," a taste of her
native Hungary.
My grandmother pulled me in as I reached the front steps, her
blue-gray eyes beaming. I felt the soft warmth of her flesh,
smelled her scent of Vick's lemon cough drops mixed with baby
powder.
"So Nanny, are we going into town?" I asked, and a
smile dusted her face like powdered sugar.
"No sure not," she said, Hungarian-English for 'of
course.'
I knew my parents didn't like to go into the city. My mother
saw Cleveland as a cauldron of riots, crime and burned out neighborhoods,
a place to avoid. Still, on a sunny day in May 1968, I was an
eleven-year-old boy who knew that Cleveland was full of wonders
like planes and trains and buildings that pierced the sky, miracles
my grandmother and I would share like her warm pastry. And so
my grandmother and I stood quietly as my mother drove off, back
to the safety of the eastern suburbs.
Waiting for the bus, Nanny's maple tree rustling above us, I
thought of other times, other adventures with my grandmother,
when I was five, seven, eight. On special weekends, she would
baby-sit for my brothers and I, bringing her pastry and her Jewish
rye bread, her cough drops and powdery scent into our suburban
home. At five, before the accident, I'd sing and dance for her
entertainment, repeating rhymes I'd learned in nursery school-"Mary
had a little lamb," "Humpty Dumpty," and later,
"My Country 'Tis of Thee," which I'd warbled at a school
assembly in Kindergarten in my thin childish voice. Later, I'd
tell my grandmother she was beautiful, promise to marry her when
I grew up. According to my mother, I was a little khnifenik,
Yiddish for a "flatterer."
Soon we boarded the CTS Windemere-bound bus, where we'd catch
the "rapid-transit" train, and Nanny greeted the driver.
Sitting on the front bench seat, I felt the weight of my grandmother's
presence-thick arms and legs, skin lined and freckled, her thick
wrist encircled by a gold watchband, feet encased in sensible
black wide-heeled shoes. I imagined here as the young, determined
woman who pushed my grandfather to leave Hungary after the First
World War. "I was the one who wanted to leave Europe-he
wanted to stay home and ride horses," she said, shaking
her head at the silliness of the idea. I never met my grandfather,
but my mind filled with images of a Hungarian-Jewish cowboy,
Roy Rogers with a skullcap.
An hour later we were at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport.
I roamed among the ticket counters, picking up timetables for
Mohawk, Allegheny and United Airlines. Later, we stood on the
observation deck, breathed in the heady aroma of jet fuel, and
craned our necks as the metallic tubes threaded the clouds.
The scent powered my dreams of a trip to Florida-my parents had
promised me my first "flying vacation" the following
December. "Enough noise!" my grandmother yelled above
the din as she pulled me back inside the terminal.
Another Rapid train deposited us into the flurry of downtown
Cleveland, at Euclid Avenue and Public Square. A haze drifted
over from the steel mills down on the Cuyahoga River, coating
the air with fine dust and ashes. Hungry, I led the way down
Euclid Avenue, Cleveland's bustling main street, toward the lunch
counter at Woolworth's. There I'd have my favorite lunch-two
slices of pepperoni pizza and an orange drink.
When we arrived, Nanny started up a conversation with another
gray haired lady sitting on a nearby stool. "Yes, this
is my grandson, we're exploring for the day," she
says, emphasizing the word as if we're on a secret assignment
for LBJ. The other lady nodded, impressed, and blood rushed to
my face. I looked down and mumbled, "Let's go Nanny."
I knew I'm not that special.
A five-minute walk back down Euclid brought us to the faded
art-deco splendor of the Terminal Tower, the tallest building
in all of Cleveland. As we walked among the half-empty stores
on the Terminal's ground floor, we come upon the old train station,
its yellowed wooden benches empty, hallways echoing. The station,
according to my grandmother, was once "packed with people."
Now, just a handful sat on the pale wooden benches, a few travelers
to the "Best location in the nation." That's what
we were, according to the Illuminating Company, our local utility.
Clevelanders laughed at the slogan, replacing it with one the
comedians used: "The mistake on the lake."
Hmm. I gazed at the grand WPA mural that filled a wall of the
waiting area-a dramatic drawing of the men who built the Terminal,
steelworkers sitting on metal beams, strong men with bulging
muscles, their faces proud. They erected this 700-foot tall
building-the tallest between New York and Chicago--that looked
out over Lake Erie, complete with an observation deck on the
42nd floor. I felt a twinge of jealousy, knowing I'd never see
a new Terminal Tower or feel the excitement of a championship
baseball team, only air tinged with coal dust and losing teams
in our old industrial city.
Our last stop was at the May Company Department Store for a
"frosty." A thick ice cream and chocolate milkshake
served in a narrow Coke-style glass, the frosty was the coup
de grace of our visits to downtown Cleveland. Leaning against
the Formica counter in the basement of the old store, I guzzled
the thick liquid beige liquid and rubbed my forehead as my ice
cream-induced headache begins to spread. Nanny shook her head,
laughed, and sipped her frosty, an adult who knew better.
T he day rolled to a slow gentle end as we rode the train and
bus back toward my grandmother's house. I rocked to the rhythm
of the CTS Rapid train, my mouth still buzzing with the taste
of cold chocolate. Near Windemere, my head nodded forward and
I shook myself awake, determined not to miss one minute of our
time together.
Sometime later, the bus pulled up in front on Nanny's bungalow.
My mother waited, sitting in our brown station wagon, tapping
the steering wheel. Her auburn hair was teased into a bangy-bouffant
'60s style, so in contrast to the thin gray curls of my grandmother.
Nanny waved to her daughter-in-law and rushed into the house.
Before I reached the front steps, Nanny returned with two packages
wrapped in aluminum foil. I knew the log-shaped one was filled
with the black nectar of poppyseeds, the smaller with nut cookies
for my brother.
"Thank your grandmother," my mother called out from
the car. I shrugged, knowing I didn't need to say anything,
that we were connected in a place beyond words. I hugged Nanny
once more, smelling her lemon and baby powder smell, careful
not to let her crush my packages. Then I walked toward my mother,
who was chewing a fingernail, anxious to leave.
As we drove away, Nanny stood on the front stoop, unsmiling.
I watched her standing there as we rode home, following me with
her blue gray eyes, guarding me until I was out of sight.
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